I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
