Redeem this text for a blowjob
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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