Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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