it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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