Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
