Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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