i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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