Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
