are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
