so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
