i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
