We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
