i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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