I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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