you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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