Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
