This girl is more easily done than said...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
