I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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