Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
