***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
