We're facebook friends in real life
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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