Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
