I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
P.S. I can't hear my feet
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
