Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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