just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
