i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
