I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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