he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
