i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
