Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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