I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
i now understand why vodka
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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