she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We don't watch enough power rangers
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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