dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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