im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
