No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
