i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
