So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
