She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
