Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
