Cold hands, warm shart.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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