Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
