last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
