I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
