well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
