is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
