drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
where are you?
Hypothermia
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize