the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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