you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
