I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
