It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize