I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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