He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
