3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
