Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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