how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize