i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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