And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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