Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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