I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
