he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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