those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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