Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
not ubering you a puppy
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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