What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
